A Letter To WOHA

Poison In The Well:

I am writing to express my profound disappointment regarding the tone and conduct of the recent annual meeting. I went into the meeting with the expectation of engaging in respectful, civil discourse about the neighborhood’s rules and policies—something I believed was not only possible but encouraged. However, what I witnessed was something far different. Instead of a healthy exchange of differing opinions, there was an atmosphere of aggression, personal attacks, and a complete lack of willingness to engage in respectful behaviors.

Applause was given for the humiliation of your brethren. Laughter commenced at the sight of souls sunk in resignation. A place for community, a place for kinship – defiled and disgraced.

How can we ever hope to build something meaningful when we stand by and cheer for the pain of others?

The WOHA leadership made no attempt to reign in the belittling of others, and in fact, encouraged and perpetuated this disgusting behavior.

An attorney in attendance was slandered and her professional abilities questioned without cause. The creation and ownership of this website were misattributed to her, and statements made on this website were likewise misquoted and misattributed, and a board member menacingly snarled at her, “Stand up, show your face! So everyone can see what you look like!”

It was despicable. The woman who was slandered did not create this website. Her contribution consisted of encouraging me to go to law school and inviting me over to give me all of her LSAT prep books. She is a reputable professional who would never jeopardize her professional reputation simply to write opinion pieces online. I have claimed ownership of this website in a public forum and shared my name – my name is even on the site. I have described my house and made many statements that do not align in any way with the description of the woman in question who was demeaned and defamed. The website even says the author is an “untrained non-attorney” - something that was so evidently overlooked in the rush to demonize an innocent party.

And now what? Now WOHA has been issued a letter threatening legal action if a retraction is not made– and rightfully so. WOHA membership contributions are now likely going to be used for legal fees to tend to this potential litigation they have brought upon themselves, whereas it would have cost nothing to be civil and kind.

And the statements she was trying to make when your board member slandered her, when the angry mob booed her and applauded the attack upon her character…? She was trying to warn you in good faith, based on her legal expertise, about aspects of your operations that don’t pass legal muster. If bone-dry mild-mannered input on legal matters from a licensed attorney are met with such derision, I can’t imagine how day-to-day opinions from laymen are treated.

I must say I was surprised that pitchforks and torches weren’t handed out alongside the cake and tea at the meeting.

From Intent to Impact:

While I am flattered that my site passes for content written by qualified legal professionals, it makes no claim to be. It’s stated on every single page of my website that it does not constitute legal advice and to not act on any information contained therein without seeking professional counsel on your specific situation and that’s not just a disclaimer – it’s the truth. My website encourages the readers to call the City of San Antonio to ask questions of them directly about city ordinances, enforcement procedures and so on, because I know not everyone has access to legal counsel and ordinary citizens should be encouraged to do their own diligence and ask questions. I know that there is nuance to the law that can be difficult to grasp without a background understanding of certain legal concepts and terminologies. I love encouraging people to reach out for resources beyond “Ask an Attorney” because it’s a means by which a layman can come to an understanding of the application of the law and how it truly works in practice and from different perspectives: I contact city offices, political offices, regulatory entities, NGO’s, and so on and so forth.

This website was created with the intention of helping people with no legal background whatsoever to become better informed. And it seems to have served its purpose. I can see the traffic to the site. I can see that the board members use it frequently. I can see that the board members especially enjoy the use of the map I created. Based on how frequently the board members return to the map page, I suspect it may be one of the board’s key sources of documentation for the neighborhood’s units.

You’re welcome.

Historically, mapmakers would often include deliberate inaccuracies or fake details in their maps, such as non-existent landmarks or incorrect geographical features, as a way to catch those who might steal their work. These false elements served as a clever safeguard, allowing the original creator to identify copies of their maps and protect their intellectual property. This practice should serve as a cautionary tale for anyone relying on someone else’s documentation, especially when that information is being used in legal contexts. Just as mapmakers guarded their work with hidden details, relying on external sources without verification could lead to significant legal consequences if the information is flawed, misleading, or intentionally false.

CommUnity:

I love pouring over legal codes because they inform us not just of our restrictions and responsibilities – but of our rights. Access to information regarding our rights should be unfettered.

But I also wanted to publicly encourage people to become engaged in their communities, to talk to each other, to be understanding and compassionate, and to sprinkle in some humor here and there. And oh boy, do WOHA board members not have a sense of humor.

The board members who unjustly derided participants somehow managed to completely disregard a variety of statements I made on my website all focused on community cohesion such as:

“Fostering realistic, community-driven solutions”

“Standards should be balanced with empathy and understanding for the realities we all face.”

“Focus on creating supportive solutions that strengthen our community despite economic and physical limitations.”

“Encouraging a sense of community support, where neighbors look out for each other and offer help when needed, can enhance both property conditions and quality of life.”

“By focusing on collective action and practical solutions, we can work together to maintain the character and charm of our neighborhood in ways that are sustainable and inclusive.”

And an entire section titled, “What Makes a Good Neighbor”

It’s such a shame that the most important words fell on deaf ears.

Hate Is A Strong Word:

I want to make it clear that I have refrained from making negative comments about HOA members as whole because, as a principle, I believe in not passing judgment on those I have not personally engaged with. 

I am of the belief that evil is rare and that people are inherently good; that we are often too quick to blame, and the attribution of malice is often unfounded.

Strangers on the street have been taking photos of my family and my house. I’ve looked through a crack in the curtain while undressing in my bedroom to see a man outside taking photos. After discussing this with others, I’ve learned that several neighbors have experienced the same unsettling behavior. Our plants, too, have gone missing—completely uprooted. I’d hoped it was just the deer, and that people are incredibly awkwardly taking photos of the plants - I’ve held on to those beliefs as long as I could, but after hearing similar stories after the meeting, it seems clear that this is intentional. The man taking photos while I was in a state of undress was at the WOHA meeting. The other strangers who stop by to take photos and take our plants were at the WOHA meeting.

In light of the concurrent statements from others and after the events that transpired at the meeting, I feel it is necessary to say that those individuals who supported the vitriol on display, and perpetuate harassing neighbors, are not just misguided—they are, unfortunately, mean-spirited, hurtful, ugly bullies. True beauty is defined by the kindness and respect that one shows toward others.

I’m not angry. I am sad and disappointed in you.

The cruelty in your hearts doesn’t just hurt those on the receiving end—it dims the light in all of us.

I can’t help but feel that this is not the person you want to be, and I wish you would choose kindness instead, for it’s in compassion and understanding that we truly find the best in ourselves and each other.

I cried on behalf of every person who has ever entered that meeting space with hopes of being heard, only to be metaphorically spat upon.

For every person that was made to feel small and helpless and voiceless and alone, it's my hope that they never looked back and have found a sense of community elsewhere.

The way we speak, the way we act, and the way we treat others leaves a mark that endures far beyond our own time, shaping the world we leave behind.

The End Result:

We’re reinvigorated to do as much as we can for our wonderful neighbors that light up our day. We will no longer make any attempts at beautifying our property that is visible from the street – we want to do things that actually matter, like help out our neighbors who aren’t as able-bodied. I want to spend my time making them gifts and baking them treats and making memories together.

And then….

We’re leaving. We have property in another state. We won’t be selling the house though – we’ll let it progressively deteriorate with each round of long-term renters who have no responsibility to maintain the place. 

Hate never builds anything—it only tears down. And in the end, it isolates everyone from the very connections that make life meaningful. 

This is what happens when you choose hate over empathy: you lose the chance to be part of something greater than the bitterness you carry.

Do better.

Be better. 

*I would also like to give a shout out to the wonderful CoSA Code Enforcement officers who, at each visit, acknowledge our improvements and congratulate us on our progress. They are compassionate and understanding of the harsh realities of maintaining property, and considerate of the fact that not everyone has the same time, physical ability, and financial resources. They are especially considerate of the physical abilities and limited incomes of the elderly in our community. When WOHA participants say Code Enforcement doesn't do anything - what I think they mean to say is, "They're not heartless bureaucratic monsters."

BALLOT